Nervous excitation keeps me propelled toward some ambiguous castle
Where my dreams, the mediocre and the grandeur, wait to fruition
Micromanaging my dopamine, pills and exercise and redirection
I feel my skin and psychic body itch to reveal a potential.
Inhibited by millions of seconds of private self-flagellation
Ive always favored those whose confidence warrants a diagnosis
Charm and glibness, manic and audacious
Attracted to my difference
This grandiosity inspires me against constant evaluation
this atrophying in my muscles and spirit pacify action
I want to feel heard and seen, but I don’t know what it is I mean to share
If I was asked to define myself, I inevitably describe a paradox
Defining anyone is always relative to others, to time, to circumstance
Yet we spend our whole lives in this pursuit of identity
I can feel that my psychic body is a part of the flesh one, through invisible mesentry
if I had the scalpel capable, I'd be tempted to cut the connections